Our Parish's Guidelines for Celebrating
the Sacrament of Matrimony
INTRODUCTION
Congratulations! You have made one of the most important decisions of your life: to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church. Your decision calls for much preparation, prayer, and reflection. It is our hope that your wedding provides a truly memorable beginning to your new life together.
It is most important to understand that in the Catholic Church marriage is first and foremost a religious event, not merely a social one. Since marriage is a Sacrament and a holy act, the wedding liturgy is carefully governed by the Church.
INTERVIEW WITH THE PRIEST
In order to schedule a wedding at Our Lady of Lourdes (or at any parish in the Diocese of Charleston), the couple must meet with the parish priest at least 6 months prior to the intended date. This diocesan policy ensures that sufficient time is available to determine the freedom to marry in the Church of both the bride and groom; gather required documents; obtain any dispensations or permissions that may be needed; and attend the necessary instruction meetings and workshops.
At the initial interview, the priest will complete a pre-nuptial questionnaire with the bride and groom and make a preliminary decision as to their freedom to marry in the Catholic Church.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION CLASSES
Couples are required to attend either a Pre-Cana Workshop or Engaged Encounter Weekend. Information on both programs will be given to you at your initial interview with the parish priest. After attending one of these, you will be given a Certificate of Completion, which must be returned to the parish office for your file.
The parish priest will also schedule at least one additional appointment with you to provide you with instruction on the Sacramental nature of marriage. Other appointments may be required, at the discretion of the priest.
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
Natural Family Planning classes are offered in various locations throughout the Diocese of Charleston. The closest location to Greenwood is St. Francis Hospital in Greenville. The priest will provide you with information on Natural Family Planning classes at your initial interview.
WEDDING COORDINATOR
The use of the parish’s Wedding Coordinator is a requirement. This requirement will not be waived under any circumstances. The parish’s Wedding Coordinator is very familiar with the general requirements of a Catholic wedding ceremony, as well as the particular policies of this parish. The Wedding Coordinator assists the couple by assuming much of the responsibility for the organization and coordination of the rehearsal and the wedding ceremony. The Wedding Coordinator for Our Lady of Lourdes parish is Mrs. Kit Ballentine (223-5833 or kballentine@earthlink.net). The couple is responsible for contacting Mrs. Ballentine and arranging to meet with her to discuss details of the ceremony.
REQUIRED DOCUMENTATION
1. Prenuptial Questionnaire.
2. Current baptismal certificates (issued within the last 6 months) from the parish of baptism for the Catholic party or parties to the marriage.
3. A baptismal certificate or letter from the church of baptism for any non-Catholic Christian party to the marriage.
4. Any dispensation or special permission from the Bishop (the priest will discuss the nature of any requirement for dispensation or permission with you).
5. Marriage License issued by the State of South Carolina (this is obtained at the County Courthouse and must be delivered to the parish office not later than one week prior to the wedding date).
The wedding cannot take place unless all of the above documentation is received.
OFFERING/EXPENSES FOR THE USE OF THE CHURCH
We are fortunate at Our Lady of Lourdes to have a beautiful church, which lends itself to a meaningful and sacred ceremony. Unfortunately, many of the expenses connected with your ceremony can be costly for us to meet. These expenses include lighting, heating or air conditioning, and custodial work. Please see the fee schedule (separate form) for suggested offerings to assist in defraying these expenses.
DAY AND TIME
Weddings are ordinarily scheduled on Friday evenings, Saturday mornings, or Saturday afternoons. The latest beginning time for a wedding on Saturday afternoon is 1:00 p.m. This is necessary so that the ceremony and any photography can be finished before the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the evening Mass.
On certain days, the universal law of the Church does not permit the celebration of weddings. If your proposed date falls on one of these days, the priest will discuss this with you at your initial interview. Additionally, the priest’s schedule does not permit the scheduling of weddings during the penitential seasons of Advent and Lent.
NUPTIAL MASS / WEDDING OUTSIDE OF MASS
Ordinarily, when two Catholics are being married, the ceremony will take place during Holy Mass. When a Catholic is marrying a non-Catholic, the ceremony will take place in a Wedding Liturgy Outside of Mass. In South Carolina, the marriage of an Episcopalian and Roman Catholic may never take place during Mass (if in a Catholic parish) or during a Service of Holy Communion (if in an Episcopalian parish). This is in accord with the regulations set forth by the Catholic and Episcopalian bishops.
SCRIPTURE READINGS
For the Scripture readings at the wedding, couples have a wide variety from which to choose. The priest will provide you with a booklet containing all of the options, from which you may choose readings which are particularly meaningful for you. Your selections must, however, come from these approved Lectionary texts. Any readings not from Scripture are prohibited by the universal law of the Catholic Church. The priest does not have the authority to waive this requirement.
LECTORS
The lectors proclaim the readings from Scripture (First and Second Readings). Couples should plan on choosing two lectors: one for the First Reading and one for the Second Reading. You may choose family members or friends to perform this role. However, please keep in mind that lectors should have no fears of public speaking and should be able to proclaim the readings boldly. Only the priest or a deacon may proclaim the Gospel Reading.
MUSIC SELECTION
Couples must arrange to meet with the parish’s Director of Music in order to choose the music for their ceremony. The Diocese of Charleston has prepared specific guidelines on music. All hymns must be taken from approved Church music. Since this is a religious ceremony in the church, the use of modern, secular music is not permitted. Prior to having your program printed, be sure that your music selections have been approved by the Director of Music and the priest.
MUSICIANS AND CANTORS OR SOLOISTS
The parish’s organist and cantor, who are trained in Catholic liturgical practice, are used for all weddings in our parish. Stipends for the organist and cantor are paid to the Wedding Coordinator along with any other fees. The Wedding Coordinator will distribute the stipends.
Instruments of embellishment, such as trumpets, flutes, and violins, are permitted. Please consult with the Director of Music to obtain permission and guidance.
The singing of the Lord’s Prayer by a soloist is not permitted. This is because in Catholic practice, the Lord’s Prayer is always prayed together by the entire assembly.
ALTAR SERVERS
Altar servers, who assist the priest, are required for every wedding. Ordinarily, two servers are required for a Nuptial Mass. One server is required for a Wedding Outside of Mass. Couples must use the parish’s altar servers, since they are trained in the practices and needs of our parish. The couple may request specific altar servers from the parish’s roster. If the couple has no particular preference, the Wedding Coordinator will arrange for altar servers. A small stipend for the servers is listed on the schedule of fees.
EXTRAORDINARY MINISTERS OF HOLY COMMUNION
Ordinarily, Holy Communion is distributed under the form of the host alone during Nuptial Masses at Our Lady of Lourdes Church. Therefore, there is no need for Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion. The priest will distribute communion under both kinds to the bride and groom, and then distribute communion under the form of the host alone to the assembly.
VISITING CLERGY
According to Canon Law (the law governing the Church), the normal ecclesiastical witness to marriage is the parish priest. As the leader of the local parish community, it is his responsibility to officiate at the Sacraments. Requests for visiting priests or deacons for a particular wedding will be considered on a case-by-case basis. Please consult with the parish priest.
THE WEDDING PARTY
In addition to the bride, the groom, and the priest or deacon, at least two witnesses (the Best Man and Maid or Matron of Honor) must be present at the wedding ceremony. The participation of additional members of the wedding party (groomsmen, bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, flower girls, ring bearers) is at the choice of the bride and groom. Space available at the front of the church is a consideration, however, any reasonable number can be accommodated. The Wedding Coordinator can provide you with guidance.
FLOWER GIRLS
A flower girl may participate, if desired. However, no flowers or petals are to be dropped in or around the church. Fresh petals tend to stain the floors when stepped upon. Silk petals present a safety hazard, in that they tend to slip. Baskets of flowers associated with the theme of your wedding are recommended in place of loose petals.
Flower girls must be at least five years of age.
RING BEARERS
Ring bearers may participate, if desired. However, please understand that this is a ceremonial role. The rings which are to be blessed and exchanged during the ceremony are placed on a paten on the altar before the ceremony begins. This practice eliminates any embarrassed fumbling for the rings during the ceremony.
Ring bearers must be at least five years of age.
PREPARING THE CHURCH
CANDLES
The altar candles will be lit during the Mass or the Wedding Outside of Mass. Our sanctuary is beautifully appointed and is in accordance with the laws of the Church governing liturgy. Additional candles are not permitted. The so-called “Unity Candle” is not traditional to Catholic worship and is not permitted in this parish. Due to safety concerns, candles may not be attached to any of the pews.
FLOWERS
Bouquets of flowers may be placed upon the altar of repose, on either side of the Tabernacle. These flowers are to be left in the church, as a witness to the rest of the parish community of the recent special event. Artificial flowers are not permitted in the sanctuary. Floral pew markers may be used, if they are attached by florist clamps, ribbons, or rubber bands. Other means of attaching pew markers, such as tacks, pins, staples, or tape, are strictly prohibited as these devices could damage the wood of the pews. Any pew markers must be removed after the ceremony.
AISLE RUNNERS
Aisle runners are both unnecessary and dangerous. Due to safety and insurance considerations, the use of an aisle runner is not permitted.
CHURCH FURNISHINGS / EQUIPMENT
Do not move or remove any church furnishings, such as tables, chairs, candleholders, etc. The public address/sound system has been professionally (and expensively) calibrated. Do not attempt to adjust it.
KNEELER (PRIE-DIEU)
Ordinarily, the use of the kneeler is a requirement. If either the bride or groom is unable to kneel, other arrangements will be made. Please consult with the Wedding Coordinator or the priest.
PHOTOGRAPHY / VIDEOTAPING
• Photographs may be taken prior to the ceremony, provided this is completed at least 30 minutes prior to the scheduled beginning time.
• Photographs may be taken during the ceremony, however the photographer may not enter the sanctuary. Since the church is brightly lit, flash photography, which can be very distracting, should be avoided.
• Photographs may be taken after the ceremony, however this must be completed by 3 p.m.
• Videotaping is also permitted, under the same guidelines as above. The videographer should remain in a side aisle or in the choir loft. Artificial lighting is not permitted.
RICE
Throwing rice, birdseed, or confetti is a practice that derives from an ancient pagan fertility rite. It is unbecoming to Catholic Christians and is not permitted at this parish.
SMOKING
Smoking is prohibited inside the church building. Please smoke outside and deposit any waste in the outside ash trays.
EATING AND DRINKING
Eating and drinking is not permitted in the church. Anyone found consuming any alcoholic beverages on the day of the wedding will be asked to leave. If the bride or groom is found consuming alcoholic beverages before the ceremony, the wedding will be cancelled immediately.
CHEWING GUM
Chewing gum is not permitted in the church. Moreover, such small things as a member of the wedding party chewing gum during a wedding are distracting and can seriously mar the beauty of your ceremony.
APPROPRIATE ATTIRE
Marriage is an important religious ceremony and occasion which takes place inside the church. Modest attire is expected of everyone.
REHEARSAL
The wedding rehearsal is important, so that everyone may become familiar and comfortable with what is to take place. The rehearsal date and time will be scheduled prior to your wedding. Rehearsals, which ordinarily take no more than one hour, will begin and end on time. Tardiness may result in parts of the rehearsal, and thus parts of the ceremony, being omitted.
PARTICIPATION OF CHILDREN
Children of at least five years of age may participate in the ceremony as flower girls and/or ring bearers. Additionally, children in the ceremony should be of sufficient maturity that they are able to perform their roles without becoming distracting.
HANDICAP ACCESS
Our Lady of Lourdes Church is wheelchair accessible. Special needs seating and assistive listening devices are also available.
CLERGY HONORARIUM
The honorarium given to the priest or deacon is a customary and thoughtful gesture. It is not a requirement. If you choose to give the priest or deacon an honorarium, general good taste would dictate that it should be commensurate with the other fees and costs associated with your wedding. Suggested amounts are listed on the fee schedule provided to each couple.
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